The Dirty Fish Tank

In May of 2017 I was officially diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthritis, a potentially debilitating autoimmune disease, that affects the joints and the organs in later stages.  I was 39 years old, a wife, and a mother of 3 young children.  I had a career that demanded that I be in good physical and emotional shape.  The news was devastating.  I had never even heard of RA before and began researching it.  Nothing I read about it suggested it could be cured.  Immune suppressing and pain medications seemed to be my only answer.  I went to a rheumatologist who confirmed my fears about this.  She told me I was diseased and incurable and if I didn't start taking the recommended medications, I would only get worse.  Not exactly the news you ever want to hear.  Well, a good friend of mine suggested a book. She said read the chapter on rheumatoid arthritis and then read the entire thing.  The book was Medical Medium, Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal by Anthony William.  It was just the thing I needed to put myself back on the path of positivity.  It opened my mind to the possibility that healing is indeed possible, and that it doesn't have to include endless medications and negative forecasts.  I journeyed through a year of dietary changes, herbal supplements, a different form of exercise, reducing stress in my life, spiritual mentoring, and many other things.  I sought the help of a Naturopathic doctor.  My body went through such a detox process.  Some phases were barely noticeable, others left my body with strange rashes, pains, burning sensations, brain fog, weight loss, fatigue and then would shift to other times of increased energy, mental clarity, and an overall feeling of good health.  As the first year came to an end, I followed up with a physical and blood work.  I was so excited to get the results and see how good I had done.  I still vividly remember the night my doctor called me with the results.  My numbers had all doubled....for the worse, indicating that I was in fact getting worse and not better.  I was once again devastated.  My world, my confidence was all rocked.  My doctor gently suggested that maybe it was time to give the med's a try.  I cried myself to sleep that night not understanding where I went wrong.  I went back to my books and began searching for something else....something I must have overlooked.  I was desperate.  I stumbled upon a section by Anthony William that talked about "the dirty fish tank" and it made so much sense.  When you start to "clean up" and detox your body of viruses, heavy metals and the like, you really start to stir things up.  Think about a dirty fish tank.  You take out the dirty castle to scrub it clean but as you do, it stirs up the water and makes it murkier.  Now, you may have a clean castle, but you still have a treasure chest and maybe some plants or a bridge to clean.  Then the rocks.  As each feature gets scrubbed clean, the water gets stirred again.  Once the filter is clean, it can now process the "dirty water" out of it.  Now think of this fish tank as your body, and the decorations as your organs.  It takes awhile and each part needs to be cleansed.  Once each part is cleansed, the rest of the environment can follow suit.  So, I persisted and kept pushing forward.  At the end of year two, I once again had my blood work tested.  This time was completely different.  My numbers were coming down.  A true testament to myself that healing was not only possible but that I was making it happen!  Since then, my numbers continued to drop almost to the point of not being diagnosable.  I cannot put into words fully how much has changed since my original diagnosis.  I've grown so much as a person and a soul.  I didn't know it then, but my "illness" put me solidly on my path of healing myself and learning how to help others heal.  Although I referenced a book, I'm going to put it out there again as I did in my first post, that healing is more involved then just a diet and some herbal supplements.  It involves all of you.  Your physical, your emotional, your spiritual and your day to day.  Many changes may be necessary but, you will see when you look back on it, just how profound it is.  I hardly identify as the person and the life I was living.  I am different and the same, all at the same time.  Embrace your journey.  The bumps, the twists, the turns, the set backs, the highs, the lows, the getting knocked down and getting back up, the tears, the celebrations.  It's all part of healing.  All of it.